Unfortunately for most of us, one of those things that doesn’t necessarily get better in time is being rejected. No matter how many times you’ve experienced it, previous rejections don’t make future or present rejections any better. On the contrary, constant rejections can even make you feel worse than before.
So rather than sulking each time you get rejected, redirect your efforts to changing the way you think about rejection. Here are 5 R’s in guiding you how you should think about and handle rejection:
I remember how as a fresh graduate and full of ideals and expectations, I was rejected for a job application. I remember thinking, “This is it. My entire future is doomed”. While the feeling of pain and frustration was real at that time, I also recall looking back a few months after and laughing over it and the way I was thinking.
We often have the tendency to overestimate the importance of things and hence, to blow things out of proportion. When things seem awful now because you were rejected, it helps to recall those similar times you’ve felt this way and how they now seem insignificant few months or years after.
If you had high expectations that you can successfully secure a business deal, then being rejected would make you feel worse than if you had lower expectations to begin with. I often tell myself to “hope for the best but expect the worst.”
Whenever you’re rejected, it’s also a time to consider whether your expectations were realistic or not. To soften the blow of rejection, try setting preferences instead of hard expectations.
Refocus on controllable areas.
To get a hold of rejection, concentrate on those things you can control. If you have a business idea to pitch for example, focus your attention on those you have control over like your presentation, the way you dress or speak. There’s no point in dwelling over what the moods of your participants are or how your competitors fared. Likewise, focus on decisions you can consciously make than wasting your energy thinking of the outcome which you have no control over.
So if you fail or get rejected, knowing you did your best and did everything that you could while the rest is beyond your control can make you less disappointed with yourself and the outcome.
Reconsider the process, not just the outcome.
Many of us keep our eye on the goal without enjoying or taking note of the benefits we can get along the process. If your goal is simply to get your boss to say ‘yes’ to a raise or promotion, then you will feel upset if you don’t get it. But if your goal includes applying the lessons you can learn in the process like how to use your communication and persuasion skills or learning what else you can improve upon, then you can react more positively even if met by rejection. Again, the former may be out of your control whereas the latter is entirely within your control.
This is perhaps difficult for many of us and will take time to learn how we can openly welcome rejection. You might have read about great scientists or athletes who have accepted countless rejections in their lives before they finally succeeded. Even the greatest salesmen have learned to love rejection. Because a wise salesman knows that if he has a 50% chance of closing a sale, then being rejected 10 times means he also closed about 10 sales. The more rejections, the more likely or closer you are to have more “non-rejections”. It’s actually a numbers game and a game of perseverance if you think about it.
Even when the dreaded “R” (rejection) comes around, you can still combat feelings of hopelessness and self-pity with these 5 R’s. So rather than just moping around, you can more wisely put your energy, mental resources and emotions into something positive for you and start moving forward.
Have you experienced the pain of being rejected? How did you manage to go through with it? Let us know through your comments below.
Source by Quora